Rugby League legend Tawera Nikau is that this week’s visitor on Sky Sports activities‘ The Bench Podcast with Jenna Brooks and Jon Wilkin.
The previous New Zealand worldwide talks about his unbelievable private journey from a small mining city to successful the NRL and enjoying in Tremendous League.
He additionally opens up on some deeply private and tragic occasions to have taken place in his life – together with the loss of life of his spouse Letitia, who took her personal life in 2001.
Opening up on the tragedy, which occurred when he was going by way of a few of his profession highs, Nikau tells the story of how then Warrington Wolves head coach Darryl van de Velda helped him by way of that point.
“You know, I was on top of the world. I’d won a Premiership with Melbourne in 1999. Captained the New Zealand Maori team in the World Cup in 2000, and then came back here to play for Warrington for a couple of years,” Nikau stated.
“And then very, very challenging time for me, and with the suicide of my wife, Letitia, during that time I was at Warrington.
“It was very, very difficult when that occurred. However I used to be very lucky, very fortunate. I had a whole lot of good assist from the Warrington workforce and the gamers. And specifically, my coach, Darryl van de Velde.
“Darryl was a great guy, and I just really wanted to acknowledge Darrell because he passed away last year up in Brisbane. And I went to his funeral and talked about how he’d helped me, how I’d been through those tough times. And it was really interesting because when I came back after the funeral, I took my wife home, did all the stuff.
“And Darryl rang me and he stated ‘oh, pay attention, T, you simply come again whenever you’re prepared’. I stated ‘Darrell, I will be again subsequent week’. As a result of I nonetheless had, , nonetheless one other a few half a yr to go on my contract at Warrington.
“My wife, Letitia, had been my manager all those years. And I said ‘well, I’ll go back and finish off the year and play just to make sure that I finish off my contract ‘because she’d done all those contracts and I was going to retire at the end of that. So when I got back, Darryl turned up on my doorstep.
“He says to me, ‘T, pay attention, I’ve organized so that you can go and have some counselling’.
“But I said nah, typical male response.
“So I performed the remainder of the season for in regards to the final six months. However I used to be a little bit of a health freak. I skilled and I did not drink a lot.
“But when I came back, I started to drink quite heavily. Mainly spirits. And it was a way of dealing with what had happened. So that was my way to not be improving. I’d just get plastered, the gin, vodka after the game.
“That was my means since you undergo this entire rollercoaster of feelings: anger, guilt, frustration. Why did not I do know? What was I pondering? All these form of issues.
“And you were having to keep such a solid face on it for your kids. That was my way of dealing with it. I’d go out drinking, get on benders, wouldn’t sleep for two or three months. And then after about three or four months I’d miss a couple of training sessions, wouldn’t go to recovery.
“Daryll turned up, grabbed me by the collar someday, threw me within the automobile, took me to the counsellor. And even once I acquired to the counsellor, I had all these ideas. I stated, they do not know who I’m. They do not know what is going on on. They do not know my life-style, the place I have been introduced up, all that form of stuff. So I nonetheless had all these excuses.
“So I went into there, sat down. I was in there for about 45 minutes. And when I left the room, I felt this massive weight just lift off my shoulders.
“There was this big sense of reduction as a result of after I might spoken to the counsellor, it wasn’t about who you’re. It wasn’t judgmental.”
If you, or anyone you know, has been affected by any of the topics discussed in this episode you can find help and support at sky.com/viewersupport