The Barbie Cellphone is plastic, incredible, and impractical

The Barbie Cellphone, very similar to the doll it pays tribute to, is a factor of magnificence. However like that doll whose proportions, traditionally, are not possible, the Barbie Cellphone simply isn’t constructed for the trendy world.

Even when the ultra-feminine aesthetic isn’t your factor — and it’s probably not mine — you must hand it to the Barbie flip cellphone. From the field it is available in, to the interchangeable again plates, rhinestone stickers, and Barbie-fied interface, it’s a delight. The charger and battery are each pink, although they’re a lighter shade than Mattel’s trademarked Barbie Pink (Pantone 219). The cellphone says “Hi Barbie!” once you flip it on. It’s the definition of committing to the bit.

The breezy enjoyable of the Barbie aesthetic, Pantone 219 or in any other case, is at odds with the precise expertise of utilizing the cellphone. It’s based mostly on one in all HMD’s function telephones, and it runs an working system referred to as KaiOS. The cellphone is designed for primary connectivity — texting, calling, emails — and even features a net browser.

In keeping with HMD, along with being cute, the nostalgic design and restricted function set are alleged to encourage you to disconnect and spend time with your pals IRL. There are a sequence of “Barbie Tips” within the cellphone’s menus that advise you on this level. 

“No need to give up the smartphone entirely,” reads Barbie Tip 1. “Find a balance between your smartphone and your Barbie Phone.” Barbie Tip 6 is titled “DreamHouse™️ Rule” and encourages you to “Make tech-free zones in your own DreamHouse. More room for fun!” By the way, Mattel says it sells a Barbie DreamHouse each two minutes. The DreamHouse retails for $199.99; the Barbie Cellphone is $129.99.

The thought of popping my SIM card within the Barbie cellphone and operating away for a weekend of digital detoxing with my besties sounds nice. The truth isn’t really easy. Have you ever ever tried to enter your Google account password with an alphanumeric keypad? Are you aware the way to discover the curly brackets in T9? I’ve and I do, because of the Barbie Cellphone, and I don’t want that on anybody. Typing out messages with predictive textual content is extra tedious than I keep in mind; if I used this cellphone recurrently, I’d in all probability name folks much more.

Except for texting, among the options of this function cellphone simply didn’t work correctly for me. I efficiently synced my Google calendar, however my appointments seem on the mistaken days for causes I can’t discern. I couldn’t get the FM radio app to acknowledge the wired earbuds I plugged into the three.5mm jack. The net browser is painfully sluggish and refuses to render The Verge in any usable type, although I understand I’m in all probability the one one who would try to learn The Verge on the Barbie Cellphone.

The delight I felt after I first unboxed the Barbie Cellphone was undoubtedly fading. Even the entrance of the cellphone, which is usually coated by a mirror, regarded so much much less charming coated in my very own fingerprints and smudges. And I suppose having a mirror on the entrance of your cellphone is cute, as a result of you may body up your selfies and test your enamel for items of kale.

However when it’s not cute? Having to take a look at your individual face each time you test for a notification. It is a sort of existential dilemma that Barbie doesn’t need to endure, as a result of Barbie’s make-up is pre-applied and she or he’s perpetually twenty two or no matter. I don’t need to see my face after I’m checking texts, 4 espressos deep on a Tuesday morning with nary a drop of concealer underneath my eyes.

Barbie’s world is a dream. Sadly, the world during which the Barbie Cellphone lets me escape the drudgery of contemporary connectivity additionally appears to be a dream. Certain, it let me take a little bit trip from my smartphone and nonetheless textual content my pals. However largely, it simply changed the annoyances of utilizing an ultra-connected machine with completely different annoyances.

Somebody extra dedicated to utilizing T9 may in all probability have an pleasurable time with the Barbie Cellphone. In any other case, that is only a neat collectible merchandise; one thing to take out of the field and play with for some time, however finally go away in a drawer. Sort of like a doll.

Pictures by Allison Johnson / The Verge